You could very well feel like the end of the world is here, but for some they’ve never had a more perfect beginning to their lives. You may be standing all alone under the night sky, yet there may be many more yous under the same vast darkness in galaxies not so far away, thinking they’re all alone. Love may make you feel giddy with happiness, even strong and invincible… yet the same love can be tearing someone apart from inside, breaking him, confusing him, threatening him. You may think you have everything figured out… yet you are ready to ignore the premature death of your assumptions. You think you are being wise… but honestly, have you learnt nothing at all?
The blades of the old fan were moving ominously. It has always made that slow tick-tick sound, but somehow I never noticed it until now. Right now, when the air is in its moment of transition, from the cruel 38 degrees of the day, dipping down to a sudden 15 of the night. I scratched my skin. The dryness left a couple of white lines from my nails. Today had been a good day. If by good you mean productive, naah, not really. But throw in a pretty awesome thriller on the big screen, an unhealthy burger n fries for lunch after that, an ever growing playlist of brilliant music, some ranting, some catching up with people, and a great many cups of chai while pretending to be lost in some deep philosophical shit. Well yes. That was my day. And now, back to the ominous fan. It would definitely act as a pretty neat prop for some horror flick I make someday. The cobwebs hung from the edges of the blade, holding on for dear life. And at that speed, it wasn’t really cutting through any air. I almost felt sorry for the fan. The blades, pregnant with dust, looking down at us mortals glued to the computer screen. With these hopes and expectations, and deadlines and realities, fighting to hang on to us with dear life. The room collapsed into a slow moving dance. And as the pixels on my screen blurred, my eyes shut.
Just like a clot.. you scratch where it hurts and you will bleed again..
So stop scratching, and gear up for an awesome 2011
Forwards and backwards. Upwards and downwards.
Up-down, up-down.. Inside-out, Outside-in.. The dull thud of my head banging against the wooden door. A spiraling of thoughts. Diving deep inside, emerging with an empty glass. Trapped in my memories. Sitting on a throne of glass. Give me one good reason to not quit, yet. Or is it just playing with my mind, a nasty little trick?