Just when I thought I was on the verge of losing it, a mail pops up in my feeder, with a subject that reads “How to stay sane”. I am amazed by this telepathic connect between me and my favourite e-zine. Why I am telling you this? Well I am chasing impossible deadlines and I havent really slept in the last 4 days, and the only reason I managed to have meals is because I’m home for the first time in years and my dear mom force-fed me at regular intervals. And strangely, here I am, sitting with my blog, even with the universe suggesting otherwise.
In between my sleepless romance with the computer screen, and countless minutes of “I want to pull my hair out right now”, I had my moment of a mini-epiphany. I finally know what really drives me or pushes me to go ahead. Cliched though it sounds at first, my answer is Love. My love for an experience, my love for learning, my love for risk, my love for travel, music and the arts… but also, and most importantly, my love for people. At a very basic level, this IS what makes me tick. I have often wondered if I am a downright conventional person – orderly, planned, stable. Or am I the hungry traveler who lives life by the moment.. Truth is, I am both. And at the same time, I am probably the most horrible business woman you will ever come across too. I do not blame you if you do not understand me, because I dont think I understand myself too well either. I cannot be ruled by systems, nor do I ever want to be “normal”, because.. please do tell me if you even know what it means? I hereby, gladly embrace my dark side, and promise to continue serving the world in whatever capacity with pure love. Even on days like this, and probably especially on days like this, I realize how much I love my job.. one of the very few in the world that can accommodate people like me (and pays me too, what joy!).
Someday I hope to marry an abandoned android and live happily inside a burrow under a tree with a pet dog called Yo-Yo, and come out only when the air tastes like mint. But right now, I shall get back to my deadlines. Yes. Pure love.