On my way back from Calcutta, during the boring 2.5 hour flight to Ahmedabad, with the never ending blue horizon, the piercing sun, and the stiff-haired air hostesses for company, I decided to fill up a couple of pages of my handy sketchbook with memories of my hometown. For some reason, this year had been extra special for many reasons, but mostly because I confined myself to the comforts of home for a (much needed) change. For a change I got a chance to celebrate the mundane joys of life, like a lazy bus ride to nowhere, a heavy breakfast at home followed by a nap followed by lunch again, and much much more..
There are things that will always confuse you. There are days when you’ll wake up and find yourself to be weird, even by your own warped standards. You may have just lived through an experience that is totally unacceptable. So who draws the lines? Who sets the rules? Are there any lines and rules?
It is now that you will embrace the comforts of “willing suspension of disbelief”, for simply put, it is the only cushion you may hope to possess, under these circumstances atleast. Those days when things seem too overwhelming, too awesome, and just too much in all its blazing glory, you will voluntarily allow yourself to let go. And before you know it, you have spiraled out of the one thing you thought you were sure of – your identity. But remind yourself here, that it is never too late to start. And never too soon. Know that no one will hold as much importance in your life, as you yourself. If “right now is the beginning of the rest of your life”, you don’t have to look around for answers. You already know what needs to be done. Strangely enough, you have always known it, just never cared to acknowledge it. Strange what our minds do to us. No?
[ This post is the result of a conversation with a friend after a badly disrupted night’s sleep. The original context is inconsequential. ]
Consider that I lied to you
And it wasn’t the first time either.
Consider that I’ve been with another
At the coffee shop
Like every other Wednesday.
Consider that I abruptly hung up his
Phone late last night,
When your mother came visiting with dinner.
Consider I have a mind of my own
A whimsical untamed being
Over which no one had control.
Consider none of this was happening
Unreal, only teasing
And you were still alive, here on my lap.
But you couldn’t believe me, could you?
You’re too far gone by now.
So who have I been lying to?